Being a mom of a two year old boy is a trip. You never know what’s coming next, but you still have to be prepared for the impossible and the unbelievable as well as the deepest love and heart-bursting joyous moments.
We went on a weekend trip for a special friend’s wedding, which was beautiful and the sweetest ever! I steamed our clothes so that we would presentable as we walked to the car, because we all know the clothes are not going to stay crisp! With the hundreds of crunches we do to reach and grab and man-handle our kids, it’s a miracle of The Lord that we even arrive mostly still dressed.
Then, we get to the venue and Axton decides he is taking off his shoes and socks and feels an urging of the spirit (not sure which one) to toss said items as high as a kite. All the while my blood pressure is about 600/3000 but I paste a horrendous fake smile to greet the strangers as they grimace at him with their why-can’t-you-take-care-of-your-kid look.
As I slowly recover from that episode, he then devises to dig out M&M’s from my purse at uber fast speed and hurls them at the wall next to us. By this time, the bride is about to enter and I try to get him excited to look at the bride. He yells, “the prize, the prize!” and it was sweet and those around us giggled. As the bride has now entered, my endearing child is now on the floor in the aisle (thank God it wasn’t the brides aisle) and he’s acting like a caveman and sticking out his tongue and making googling and gaggling noises as if he’s the main event that everyone came to see.
By this time I wondering if I am asleep and having a nightmare or if this is reality. I motion the dinosaur-child to come sit and check out what’s in my purse (all the trash and m&m wrapper he’s disposed of) and now he takes off running. Full. Speed. Ahead. To the FRONT of the church. Where the bride and groom are standing. I used every ounce of telepathy I could muster, “go straight go straight, go straight, not left (to the bride)” My telepathy/deepest intercessions worked. He kept straight and ran right out of the church as I tried to calmly run-walk behind him.
No murders occurred, we made it through. I’m alive and he’s still here. All feelings of mortification vanished as he exited the church to the safety of a roam-free zone which is where we stayed the remainder of the lovely wedding.
Then, we get to the venue and Axton decides he is taking off his shoes and socks and feels an urging of the spirit (not sure which one) to toss said items as high as a kite. All the while my blood pressure is about 600/3000 but I paste a horrendous fake smile to greet the strangers as they grimace at him with their why-can’t-you-take-care-of-your-kid look.
As I slowly recover from that episode, he then devises to dig out M&M’s from my purse at uber fast speed and hurls them at the wall next to us. By this time, the bride is about to enter and I try to get him excited to look at the bride. He yells, “the prize, the prize!” and it was sweet and those around us giggled. As the bride has now entered, my endearing child is now on the floor in the aisle (thank God it wasn’t the brides aisle) and he’s acting like a caveman and sticking out his tongue and making googling and gaggling noises as if he’s the main event that everyone came to see.
By this time I wondering if I am asleep and having a nightmare or if this is reality. I motion the dinosaur-child to come sit and check out what’s in my purse (all the trash and m&m wrapper he’s disposed of) and now he takes off running. Full. Speed. Ahead. To the FRONT of the church. Where the bride and groom are standing. I used every ounce of telepathy I could muster, “go straight go straight, go straight, not left (to the bride)” My telepathy/deepest intercessions worked. He kept straight and ran right out of the church as I tried to calmly run-walk behind him.
No murders occurred, we made it through. I’m alive and he’s still here. All feelings of mortification vanished as he exited the church to the safety of a roam-free zone which is where we stayed the remainder of the lovely wedding.
I can’t say how the wedding turned out but I can say being a mom of a two year old boy is teaching me I’m not perfect. Never will be. I shouldn’t fret to be anything other than what I am at this moment. I’m a wife that loves the man I have married. He’s a gift and I realize just what a treasure he is to me and to this world more and more daily. You see, I’ve taken my life for granted in so many ways. I wanted to be perfect. To seem perfect. But it’s ok that I’m me. It’s ok that my two year old is himself. Of course, discipline and learning will come as he matures and as I mature. I believe marriage and children help us to become who we’re supposed to be. It’s God’s special design.
I don’t want to miss the lessons and the growth and the beauty because I’m focusing too hard on being perfect — something unattainable, something that actually cheapens the grace of God. If I could only wrap my mind around that truth and envelop it into my mind for good.
Maybe you’re a mom in the trenches; struggling to keep your head above the proverbial water. Maybe you’re at a place where you’re emotionally bankrupt, from not giving yourself and those you love most, the attention and care they so deserve.
It’s going to work out. It’s all just little stuff. We can be everything we’re supposed to be because God’s Word says we can! As long as our hope and our trust is fully in Him, we don’t have to “pay our own way”. We don’t have to “earn” God’s favor and love. It’s ours. It’s a gift that we can take freely. He’s perfectly in love with us as imperfect people.
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