We were attempting to have a time of family prayer and devotion last night and we encountered some, shall we say, "disturbances". As a struggling perfectionist, I usually have a plan, a pattern of attack and it is supposed to go ... perfectly! Hilarious. Absolutely, hilarious, I know. While praying together, our plans got derailed by a toddler "praying" and tooting loudly, handing out mass amounts of tissue to us all; putting a towel on his head as he walked around praying loudly. Quiet laughter ensued.
We tried to resume our prayer time and Axton (our toddler) is walking all around the room "praying" loudly, "Jeesh-ush, touch mama... Hall-le-luuuuu...." *poot* It was too much! Brian and I fell to our faces in laughter! The spirit of laughter was all over us - I'm telling you - we were bubbling over! Brian laid hands on me and said, "Yes, Lord, the spirit of laughter is all over you!" It. Was. Funny. We tried again and this time Axton is bringing me tissue... not one, not two, but thirty. "Here mama, you prayin'." I ended up needing them from laugh-crying! Needless to say, the perfect little family prayer time that we plan is quite often the exact opposite.
But as I thought about it more, I realized how very true that is of life in general. We make our own plans, sometimes we pray for selfish desires and ambitions. At times, we feel that if things were just like 'this' or happened just like 'that' it would all be - PERFECT! We have it all figured out. We know exactly (ha ha ha) what we need. Right? We know the path that WE should take. Oh, wait, the scripture says, "HE knows where I am going. And when he tests me, I will come out as pure gold." (Job 23:10)
I was reminded during this hysterical fiasco of prayer time that God knows what we need. He has already been there. He's just on the other side waiting. I once heard a minister say that the physical realm is often opposite of the spiritual realm. Things appear in one way physically, but with God, they are actually working out; things are being turned around; your path is being cleared and a way is being made. It just looks messy. It feels messy sometimes, too! (Toddler toots and all!) We are being tried and that requires some IMperfection, heat, fiery darts, comfort-zone explosions and unplanned paths!
Today, I am thankful for some of my unanswered prayers that would have caused me harm or drawn me away from God's plan for my life. I'm thankful for the times that God said NO because those times have proven to be an even greater, more beautiful YES than I could ever have planned on my own. My carnal thinking has never created the beauty and peace that God has created for me. He didn't do it because of who I am, but because of who HE is; He is the reason I'm thankful. It's only His grace that has kept me during my fall-outs, my misguided seasons in life and the susceptible sins of pride and things like it.
Maybe our family prayer and devotion fell through as far as plans go, but I'll leave those plans there and take the joy that we had laughing on the floor ANY day. I believe that while we laid there gut-laughing we very possibly were making some spiritual headway in many things. How? We weren't travailing or interceding, but we were bringing our family closer together, we were filled with joy and laughter, we decided to go off plan and have a moment of fun. We felt connected and maybe that's what God wanted for our family time last night. Connection, love and laughter. It's a memory we probably won't forget! God always knows what we need. Disclaimer: we are aware that trying to have a prayer time with a toddler is near impossible but in time we will see results.
I hope this encourages or at least humors someone during this holiday. The holidays can be a time of great sadness and discouragement, but remember that there is something to be thankful for, even when it's not perfectly in line with our thoughts and plans. God is able to bring beauty and life from your dead situations and your distracting problems. And sometimes, amusement in the process!
May you have a wonderful Thanksgiving!
